Crazy Zambian Jokes That Will Make Your In-law Laugh

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jokes zambia

Meet the Zambian jokes that will make your day brighter with laughter and fun. in fact my jokes can make your boss increase your salary by 80 %  if you share them with him. 


Zambian jokes based on politician's lie.

There was a  man who died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the decision gates , he saw a huge wall of clocks just some meters away from him. He got curious and asked, “What are all those clocks for?”. St Ezekiel answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. all individuals on earth have  Lie-Clocks. Every time you lie, the arms on your clock moves.”

“Oh really”, said the man, “Whose clock is that one?”
“That’s Banda's”,  replied St. Ezekiel  “The arms have never moved, simply means he never at any point told a lie.”

“Wow that's cool.” said the man “And whose clock is that one over there?”

St. Ezekiel responded, “That’s Levy’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Levy told only two lies in his entire life.”

“Where is Sata’s Clock?” “God is using that as a ceiling fan in his office”

"What about for Bally?"  Well. i will get back to you shortly. 

“What about the clocks for the PF MPs?” St Ezekiel, “Oh, we’re using them like a windmill to generate all the electricity up here. 


This  Zambian ATM machine wont Embarrass me.

I never believed in Zambia being a Christian nation until one day we had   anointing oil and bread for breakfast at my friend's home. 

It was at Stanchat bank's ATM machine today located along Cairo road.  After withdrawing some money the machine asked: Ain't you getting something for your girlfriend's birthday?  Reluctantly I asked which one.  Natasha? the machine said no, 

Jennifer? No,

 Bwalya?  No, 

Angela?  No,

Anita? No

Mampi? No

 Peggy ?  the machine still said no. So up to now am not sure which girlfriend it was talking about pantu ine am innocent my wife knows.

See 30 African jokes here

The Motivation speaker joke to make your ribs break

A very famous motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!”
The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: “And that woman was my fathers wife, my mother!”

A week later, a top manager trained by the same motivational speaker tried to crack this very expensive joke at home. He was a bit intoxicated after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!”
The wife went; “aahh!” with shock and anger. Standing there for 30seconds  trying remember the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out “…and I can’t remember who she was!”

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Do you like my jokes? You can comment yours below and i will appreciate

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4Comments
  1. 😂 you people have made my bra loosen up. Why are you like this kkk

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bally’s clock is loading lol. Am sure his it will just do just 1 or 2 moves only

    ReplyDelete
  3. Whenever I get high my brain never thinks properly. What can I use to be low?

    ReplyDelete
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