30 African Jokes You Cant Resist Laughing To



funny jokes

I know we always say Africa is  abundantly blessed not only with trees and animals but with talented people with jokes. Here will be showing the African jokes to appreciate your  local continent's funny people. Let's go in African style:

1. Zambia a Christian nation

I never believed in Zambia being a Christian nation until one day we had   anointing oil and bread for breakfast at my friend's home. 

2.This ATM machine won't embarrass me

It was at Stanchat bank's ATM machine today located along Cairo road.  After withdrawing some money the machine asked: Ain't you getting something for your girlfriend's birthday?  Reluctantly I asked which one.  Natasha? the machine said no, 

Jennifer? No,

 Bwalya?  No, 

Angela?  No,

Anita? No

Mampi? No

 Peggy ?  the machine still said no. So up to now am not sure which girlfriend it was talking about pantu ine am innocent my wife knows.

3. WhatsApp Joke

My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me “Your last seen on WhatsApp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread”

4. Dream of a typical African Child

Age 7: I want to be a doctor when I grow up

Age 16: Mum look! All A’s

Age 20: Mum, medicine is hard

Age 35: Make some noise for DJ Pakanwa Pabi!!!

5. Crush and Assignment

That awkward moment when you help your crush with her assignment and she gets zero. My brother, just forget about any explanation and go your way peacefully.

6. Joke about Girls who Play Hard to Get

To those girls who feel too big to reply messages, a time will come that you will be desperate for a husband. That’s when a man will ask you “How are you doing?” And you will reply “YES I DO”

7. Jokes about Nigerian movies

It is only in a Nigeria movie that you will see cassava plant in an Evil forest. Who planted the Cassava?

Do spirits plant cassava too?

8. You would know you are watching a Zambian movie when it says “35yrs later “but the dog in the yard is still alive. Lol

9. Facebook joke

When you sit down for an interview and the interviewer greet you by your Facebook name

Good day “Miss slay queen hottest bae.

My sister just pack your CV and run.

10. Boyfriend Jokes

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says “Go and lock the door first…”

11. No one is useless joke

No matter how bad you are, you’re not useless. You can still be used as a bad example.

12. Girls when you have money

The way girls will convince you that you are handsome if you have money, you will stand in front of the mirror and you will be like “Maybe I should go into modelling. My brother don’t be deceived, remain where you are.

13. Packaging

My sister don’t be fooled by men. Not everyone who wears suit is rich, some of them are choirmasters.

14. What were you thinking Joke

I slowly shifted her panty to the side and removed my boxers. This habit of sharing the dry line with ladies is so annoying.

What were you thinking?

15. African Parents Joke

Some African Parents will be like ‘I will not place a curse on you, but whatever you do to me, your children will do the same to you.

Is this one a proclamation or a declaration?

16. African Teacher Jokes

My school teacher taught me most of the lies I tell today, she would tell me to write a letter to my uncle abroad when she knows my uncle is in the village.

African funny jokes

17. The wheelbarrow joke

A certain man worked in a factory for 20 years. Everyday after work, he will come out pushing same wheelbarrow full of straw. The security will search him thoroughly before going out but find nothing. On the day of his retirement, the security was curious about what he must have been smuggling out for 20 years. He was convinced that the man must have been smuggling something but he wasn’t sure what it was. When he asked, the man said wheelbarrows.

18. The lost phone joke

A guy sits in the dark and says that he has lost his phone! He uses the light of his mobile device to look for his device (which he`s holding as a light). He answers a phone call and says: ”Sorry, I can’t speak, I`ve lost my mobile”. Then he decides to call the police to inform them that his phone has been stolen.

19. African Politicians

Our politicians go to the US when they need to work, to Dubai when they need to buy something, to Paris if they want to rest, to Europe if they want to study! They only get back to Nigeria when they want to die! So, is it a cemetery?”

20. Husband and Wife Jokes

Wife tells husband: “Some of your friends think that I`m beautiful!” Husband says: “It`s Jack, right?” She replies: “How do you know?” He replies: “Leftovers are his thing!”

21. Wife: “How is it going, honey!”

Husband: “I have a big problem at work.”

Wife: ”Your problem is our problem! Tell me what has happened!”

Husband: “Then, congratulations, we will become parents!”

Wife: “Why is that, honey!”

Husband: “Our secretary is pregnant!”

22. Wife: “I wish I was a newspaper so I could be in your hands all day”

Husband: “I also wish you were a newspaper so I could have a new one everyday.”

23. Someone asked an old man- “Sir, even after 70 years of age, you still call your wife honey, darling, sweetheart… what’s the secret behind that? The old man replied- “Shortly after I married her, I forgot her name and I am scared to ask.”

24. Dating Joke

A boy went to his dad

Boy: “Dad, I found a girl I really like and would love to date.”

Dad: “Really? Who is she?”

Boy: “The neighbor’s daughter”

Dad: “Oh, you can’t date her”

Boy: “Why not Dad?”

Dad: “Don’t tell anyone, she is your sister”

The boy returned after some days.

Boy: “Dad, I have found someone else. This time around, she is prettier than the first one.”

Dad: “Who is she?”

Boy: “The other neighbor’s daughter”

Dad: “Oh no! You can’t date her, she is also your sister” This went on for sometime but ended with same response from his dad. So one day, the boy got angry and went to tell his mum.

Boy: “Mum, dad said I cannot date any of the neighbors’ daughters because they are my sisters.

Mum hugs the boy affectionately and said- “Boy, you can date whoever you want, don’t worry, he is not your father”

25. Expensive Joke

Everything is now so expensive in Zambia that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

26. A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath, the first pupil said he wasn’t the one, the second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class. The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them. Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr Banda, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class? The teacher fainted.

 27. It was on a weekend and I was sitting alone by the river bank bored. I then remembered that I had some weed in my pocket but then weed was not yet legal in my country. I looked around just to make sure that I was alone I then rolled my 1  and started to smoke ,that weed was too strong that it started to work instantly. As I was smoking I was sitting next to the water watching the water then a police officer stood behind me therefore I saw his reflection in the water, I then started to talk aloud since I thought I was alone . I said," yo man today's weed is too strong that I can see the officer in the water". And I immediately hid my weed behind me 

Now think about what the officer did or said after that.

Submitted by:  Sydney Thabane Ndlovu

See also:  Zambian funny jokes

Comment your joke below and feel African 

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